In Another Life
by Roxal
Summary: Maybe we were meant to be together in another life. Warnings: AU. Language. Sexual content. Status: In Progress. [AxelRoxas, RoxasNamine]
1. Now

**In Another Life**

Main Pairings: Axel/Roxas, Roxas/Namine

Side Pairings: Xigbar/Demyx, Roxas/Kairi, Sora/Kairi

A fragmented tale. Details of a relationship gone sour. This fic is going to be horribly disjointed, skipping around in time from chapter to chapter. The first few paragraphs of each will establish place and time, though, so hopefully you won't get lost. This fic will be this relationship from beginning to end, and the beginning of the healing process. Enjoy. And also? Reviews make me incredibly happy.

* * *

The apartment feels empty, and he thinks that his footsteps are echoing now in this mausoleum that was once so full of life. Smiles are something afforded by other people, and never for him. Not now, anyway. Not that he would know, though; he hasn't left his room for days. His head is pounding.

Or maybe that's the knocking at the door. Slowly he manages to drag himself out of bed and for a moment he thinks he's forgotten how to walk for all the stumbling he does on his way out. He doesn't bother to look through the peephole. He already knows who it is.

"I'm here to pick up my things."

Roxas is twenty-two now, the same age Axel was when they met. That had been so _long_ ago, Axel thinks, realizing for the first time in a while that he's twenty-nine. And he was going to be thirty soon. Dammit, he was old.

The young blond looks so put-together for someone his age, so much more so than other fresh-faced college graduates. He looks positively _sober_, standing there with his blank face and new suit. He looks dead, Axel thinks, except for that spark of life that has never left his eyes. Axel sighs at this, knowing that he kept that flame burning once, but now it was someone else. He points to a box in the hallway.

"_Fuck_, Axel, what have you done to yourself?"

This was actually said almost immediately after the first comment, directly after Axel's broken-hearted sigh. Roxas is looking at him now, _really_ looking at him, and the blank, poker face he had put on for this visit is instantly replaced by a look of concern.

"Nothing," Axel says, and he lets loose a small laugh, "literally. I've just been lying in bed since you left."

"That was three days ago! Jesus, have you eaten? You look like hell."

"Gee, thanks. Glad to know you still find me attractive."

"Come on, you need to eat something, _drink_ something! God, I'm amazed you didn't _die_."

With that, Roxas grabs the older man's arm and pulls him, wobbly as he is, into the kitchen. Axel sits at the small kitchen table while Roxas roots around in the fridge, noting that indeed nothing had been touched since he left. He hurriedly makes a rather plain ham sandwich and pours a glass of juice and sets them down in front Axel, who devours them as quickly as the blond had prepared them. Roxas sits down across from him, watching concernedly as the other eats.

"Why have you been lying in bed for three days?" Roxas asks, raking a hand through his hair.

"Why did you leave?" Axel counters.

"Please, _please_ let's not get into this again. I came here to get my things and leave, not fight with you."

"So why haven't you?"

"_Axel_," Roxas shoots pointedly.

"What? It's a legitimate question," the redhead replies nonchalantly, wiping breadcrumbs from his shirt.

"You know why I'm still here."

"Yeah, I do," Axel answers, looking the younger man in the eyes, "so stay."

Roxas shoots up from the table. "No!" he yells, glaring at the other. "Dammit, Axel, I've told you why I left and that hasn't changed! It didn't fucking change in the last three days and it's never going to!" he spits, because yelling seems to be the only thing that gets across to the older man, even if his replies are always calm.

Axel huffs and looks to the side, his hands knotting in his lap. "You don't just fall out of love with someone," he nearly whispers, and Roxas feels like he's going to scream.

"I've _told_ you! I've told you and told you and told you the whys and the hows and whatever else you asked me! I'm not doing this again, I'm _not_. I'm leaving. I'm getting the fuck out of here. Goodbye, Axel." He's already halfway out of the room when Axel stops him.

"You _did_ love me, didn't you?" he says feebly, not moving from his seat.

Roxas turns back around to stare at him, and he looks so pathetic, and Roxas actually _pities_ him and then hates himself for thinking it. Axel isn't someone you pity; Axel is strong, and proud and arrogant and rude, not a whimpering shell of a man, not what Roxas is looking at now.

"You know," Roxas sighs, holding a hand over his eyes, "I don't even know anymore." He's leaving again.

"Wait!" Axel calls, "you can't just say that and then leave!"

A sigh racks him as he reenters the kitchen. "Look at yourself, Axel. Can you even _stand_? My God. I used to think—" he pauses and swallows thickly, "I used to look up to you! When I was a kid, you know? I used to think you were so fucking strong, and so wonderful, and so fucking perfect, and now… and now you can't even fucking feed yourself!" He's almost crying now and he feels weak, but all of it's true, and it's like watching one of his heroes fall. Axel's watching him with an expression of utter heartbreak, eyebrows drawn and lips parted in words he can't quite find. Roxas sighs again and continues. "It all feels like a lie now. Everything you ever said to me; I look back on all the times you reassured me and it just feels like a farce because now you can't even… you can't even…." He covers an eye with his hand and takes a steady breath to hold back his tears. Slowly he lowers it, and when it reaches his side he looks composed again. "I have to go now, Axel. I just came to pick up my things. She's waiting for me. I told her to come up if I wasn't back in ten minutes."

He doesn't say her name because he doesn't know if he should. The first time he said it in their apartment, he felt like he'd broken something. She had been a secret, and saying her name in the sanctity of their room had just felt so wrong, so he had vowed never to say it there again.

"Roxas…" Axel trailed, almost getting up but feeling faint when he tried.

"Take care of yourself, Axel. Please. You need to get out of here, you need to—"

"Everything in this place reminds me of you," Axel says, almost desperately, "the couch, your clothes, the pictures—my God, the fucking _pictures_—even the damned _wall color_ reminds me of you." He sounds so distant that Roxas wonders if he's actually talking to him or just thinking out loud. "The bed… the sheets still smell like you, sweetheart. I don't wanna leave it, 'cause if I close my eyes, and if I lean against the pillows just the right way, and if the fan is on, I swear I can still feel you next to me. I can still…."

Axel's eyes are unfocused; the normally vibrant green dulled as tears sheen over the surface and start to flow downward. Roxas takes a step toward him. "Axel—"

"Four years!" he shouts, and it's the first time he's yelled since Roxas told him he was leaving. "Four years, Rox! Has it meant nothing to you? For you to just… to just pick up and leave like this, surely it must have been nothing. Just some stupid fling; some stupid fling where you lived together, slept in the same bed, told the poor sucker you loved him, over and over until he actually _believed_ it. So go ahead and laugh, Roxas. Go ahead because that was a great fucking joke; sure pulled one over on me, huh? Had me—"

He's stopped by Roxas throwing his arms around his neck, holding him close and stroking his filthy hair. "Take care of yourself, Axel, please. Get out of here; _move_ if you have to, just… just keep _living_. God, please." He kisses the older man's cheek and smiles at him sadly as he pulls away. "I did love you, I just…" he sighs again, standing. "She's waiting for me," he says, the words more of a plea than a statement.

Axel nods, wiping at an eye. "I'll walk you to the door."

He stands shakily. Roxas offers an arm but Axel shakes his head. When they reach the doorway Roxas lifts the box containing personal effects that he had forgotten and holds it under one arm. His free hand reaches up to brush Axel's lanky hair away from his face.

"Take care of yourself," he says again, and offers him a reassuring smile this time. Axel nods again, somehow smiling back. He lays his fingers over Roxas' hand.

"Can I… can I call you?" he asks timidly. Roxas sighs.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, baby," he says, unable to control the pet name he slips in. Axel frowns.

"Well then, I… I. Goodbye, Roxas," he says solemnly.

Roxas smiles softly again. "Bye, Axel," he whispers, giving his cheek one last caress with his hand before pulling away. And then he's out the door.

Axel can hear him talking to her on the other side.

"Why didn't you come in?" Roxas asks calmly.

"I… you were yelling. I didn't want to disturb you…" her fragile voice trails, and Axel thinks that everything about the woman Roxas left him for is fragile, from her pale blonde hair to her long, thin fingers. He scoffs. Roxas had called _him_ weak.

"That was a sign that you should've come in," Roxas replies with only slight irritation.

"I… I'm sorry," she says, and Axel can practically hear her hang her head in shame.

"…It's okay," he hears Roxas say, in a tone Axel had only ever heard the younger man use on him, the sound of a kiss, and then there's silence from the other side.

Axel takes a picture of Roxas off the wall and slides down to the floor with his back against the front door. He looks at the smiling face for a moment, and then breaks the frame over his knee.

He is going to get through this.


	2. Then

**In Another Life**

Ok, so, last chapter? I lied. This is not going to be a series of unrelated AUs, because the first chapter begged me to continue it, and I am weak, so I am. Summary in first chapter has been changed, so check that out.

* * *

He feels a little bit afraid, and a tiny bit apprehensive, but mostly he feels excited. It's time; it's finally time. 

Roxas is smiling at him.

It's mid-December—the thirteenth to be exact; Roxas' eighteenth birthday. The blond has been waiting for this day for a long time, standing on the threshold of adulthood but still young enough to avoid some of the responsibilities. It's a Friday. The party is finally starting to wind down. Roxas waves off the last of his friends until only Axel is left, standing at his side. Roxas closes the door.

"So, you finally gonna give me my present now?" he asks, smirking at him older friend. Axel grins easily back.

"Yep, but I left it up in your room when I got here. Come on," he says, motioning for Roxas to follow him. When they get to the blond's room, Axel picks up a small box from the dresser and hands it to kid, already seated on the bed. "I didn't get you a card. Hope you can forgive me," Axel laughs to hide the shakiness that threatens to creep into his voice. Roxas accepts the package gratefully.

"Man, you know cards are for girls anyway," he trails as he pulls off the silver wrapping paper—carefully, because Roxas is nothing if not precise—to reveal an unassuming black box. He smiles up at Axel before he opens the lid, a hint of nervousness showing now. When he finally pulls the contents out, he nearly sighs in relief.

"A watch," he says, grinning at it, and then brings it closer to his face for inspection. "It's gorgeous."

And it is. "It's uh, it's titanium," Axel says, pointing at it rather needlessly, "and that," he says, pointing at the spot where the 12 should be, "is a half-carat diamond." Roxas gapes at him.

"Axel!" he nearly shouts, "this must have cost a fortune! I can't accept this!" Axel pales for a moment.

"Why not?"

"Because it's—it must have cost a thous—just t-take it back!"

"I can't," Axel replies, swallowing, "it's engraved." He takes the watch from Roxas' rigid hands and turns it over to show him the back of the face. Roxas' eyes scan it briefly before he reads the text aloud.

"To Roxas. Happy Eighteenth. Axel." Roxas takes a breath and looks back to he older male.

"Yeah," Axel says, bringing a hand up to scratch nervously at the back of his neck. "You know, for as much as that thing cost, they couldn't fit one extra word on there:" he smiles a little before turning to look the younger in the eyes, "love."

"Axel—" Roxas says, before he realizes it's getting sort of difficult to breathe.

"I…" Axel starts, pauses, sighs, and starts again. "Look, we've talked about this before. Granted, we weren't entirely in our right minds at the time, but we still talked about it. You've known how I feel about you for a while, and by the way you're acting now," Roxas manages a half-hearted glare in automatic response and Axel smirks at him, "you seem to have pushed it out of your mind and were probably hoping it would go away and save us both a lot of embarrassment, but it hasn't."

Axel sits down next to the stunned blond and takes his hands; the watch still gripped tightly in his fist. "I care about you, Roxas. A lot. I've cared about you since I met you, and it's only gotten deeper over the years." He takes a moment to study Roxas' eyes then, and he sees them softening. His hands are relaxing as well. Axel breathes a small sigh of relief. "Before… before, all that was really stopping me was age difference. I mean, I was twenty-four when we… and you were only seventeen! And newly-turned! I couldn't… you know? But now, I figure, you're eighteen. You're an adult. You can decide for yourself, can't you? You're old enough to understand what a relationship between us would mean. If you'll still have me, of course," he amends, and then the nervousness is back in his eyes, "will you?"

Roxas breathes, slowly, in and out, consciously as he looks into Axel's hesitant green eyes, and then he has to force himself to look away. "I…" he mumbles, and then a small smile curves his lips. "You were right," he says softly, "I tried to push it out, the idea of us having any sort of relationship that wasn't platonic." He looks up at the redhead's face again, still holding his hands. "You know, I thought you were fucking with me, that time. I thought it might've been a joke, and that you'd forget about it in the morning, and that would be that. You kept your promise, though. Things didn't get awkward. Not 'til now, at least." He flashes a quick smile. Axel returns it. "I had such a huge crush on you for the longest time. Do you remember me telling you that?" Axel nods. Roxas smiles wider. "After… I just hoped it would go away; that I could stop thinking of us that way, but I… I couldn't." He's holding Axel's hands back now, instead of just letting himself be held. "Maybe it's just lust, or attraction, or hormones or something, I kept telling myself, but it hasn't gone away, and I…" he almost laughs, "I think this is just a really roundabout way of telling you, yeah, I'll have you."

The tattoos under Axel's eyes distort as he opens his mouth in a relived laugh. "Thank God," he says, grinning, "For a second there I thought you were gonna tell me you'd gotten over me or something." Roxas smiles back at him.

"I don't think that's possible," he replies, and leans forward. Axel takes the hint and moves down to kiss him.

It's a slow, leisurely sort of kiss, because they've both been waiting for this for a long time and they're certainly not going to rush it. It's a disbelieving sort of kiss, because neither of them really thought this was going to happen after what had come before. It's a harsh sort of kiss, to establish a claim at last, and it's a gentle kiss, because there's so much admiration in it that they can hardly stand it.

"Here," Axel says, when they finally pull apart, "let me put that on for you." He takes the watch from Roxas' hand and fastens it around the younger male's wrist. "What time is it?" he asks, fiddling with the dial.

Roxas leans over to look at the clock on his bedside table. "It's almost 1:30." Axel's eyes widen a little.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry, babe, I gotta go," he frowns and makes to stand up. Roxas grabs his wrists.

"Stay."

Axel smirks at him. "I'd love to, Rox, but I have the early shift tomorrow and my uniform's at my place, so if I spent the night here I'd have to leave in about three hours anyway." Roxas pouts at him playfully.

"So your job is more important than me. I see how it is." Axel smiles and leans down.

"Well, I gotta work off that watch," he says, tapping the face. Roxas looks at him guiltily.

"You really shouldn't have spent so much—" he starts, but Axel silences him with a finger over his mouth.

"I wanted to," he replies, and then replaces his finger with lips. After a moment he pulls away and stands. "Come on, walk me out."

Roxas walks him all the way to his car door, talking to him for nearly another twenty minutes before the redhead finally tells him good night for the last time. They kiss again, lingeringly, and Axel gives the blond a peck on the cheek as he slides into the driver's seat at last. Roxas can't help waving as the car tears off down the street.

When Roxas reenters his house, his mother is standing at the door; an unreadable expression on her face. "So, did Axel get you something nice?"

Roxas swallows. "Um, yeah, he got me a watch," he says, rather lamely, and holds out his wrist. His mother leans down to scrutinize it. "He said it was real, uh, titanium, and the diamond is real," he finishes quickly. She stands upright again.

"It's lovely," she says, "and it must have cost him a fortune. I can't remember the last time your father got me something that nice," she rolls her eyes, "but tell me, Roxas, are you two…?"

"Yeah," Roxas says, blushing slightly, "yeah, we are."

His mother's face splits in a wide grin. "Finally!" she cries, and grips her younger son in a tight hug.


	3. Phone Wars pt 1

**In Another Life**

Sorry this one is so short! Hopefully the next one will be out soon!

* * *

She's never fared well in the face of adversity, whether it be a tiff at her job or the death of her parents when she was seventeen. She falls to pieces, and all she can do is hope that someone will be there to put her back together.

She's sitting in the kitchen of Roxas' small apartment—a place he'd been renting for almost a month now, though he's only been living in it for about a week—watching him fumble around with papers he needs to bring in to work. She takes him, because he doesn't have a car at the moment. He's left it with Axel.

Axel. The thought sends a chill through her, and she frowns for a moment until Roxas speaks.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower. I'll be out in a minute, ok, Naminé?"

She nods, smiling her soft, warm smile at him until he's out of sight. At almost the exact moment she hears the shower turn on, the phone rings. She looks at the caller I.D.

Axel.

Roxas has told her what to do in this situation. She takes a breath and answers with a shaky "hello?"

"Um, can I talk to Roxas?" the voice on the other end responds after a short, plainly shocked silence.

"I'm sorry, Axel, but he doesn't want to talk to you right now," she says, her voice gaining confidence.

"I see." It's terse and angry, and followed by a much quieter "tramp." He's about to hang up when she stops him.

"Axel, wait," she pleads. She's answered by silence but no dial tone so she assumes that he's still listening. "I know… I know you must hate me, but please, I… please understand, I didn't know Roxas was involved when I met him. I didn't know until a few weeks ago, and I felt… I felt so _horrible_, but I… I love him, Axel. I probably shouldn't say that to you, but I do. I love him. And I'm so, incredibly, unbelievably sorry that this happened the way it did. If I had known, I never would have…. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you split up, but I… I'm not sorry that I love him, or that… that he loves me, too."

Her tone is a mixture of defiance and fear by the end, and the silence that drags on afterward is almost enough to convince her that he hung up halfway through, or even before she started, but she can hear him breathing. He's just collecting his thoughts.

"Tell Roxas I said hi, and that I'll drive him to work if he wants," Axel says, the words even and calm. Naminé swallows. "Oh, and by the way: _Fuck_ you." She winces at the shout and the sound of the receiver slamming down.

When Roxas returns to the kitchen, fully dressed with damp hair, Naminé is still sitting, staring at the receiver in her hand. Roxas rushes to her side, placing a careful hand on her shoulder. "What happened?"

"Axel called," she replies simply. "He says hi."

Roxas removes the phone from her hand and pulls her into a gentle embrace. "I'm sorry, Naminé," he says, rocking her and kissing her temple. "I'm sorry you have to be involved in this."

"I shouldn't have… I should've just told him that you didn't want to talk to him, but I told him…. I told him that I didn't _know_, I _didn't__know_—"

"He knows, Nam," Roxas whispers, "he knows. He's just…." Roxas sighs and pulls back to look at her. She isn't crying, at least. "He handles things badly. He's going to be an asshole, and he's going to say hurtful things, but that's just how he deals. We just need to give him space, okay?" He smiles a little, hooking a finger under her chin, and she smiles weakly back and nods. He leans down and kisses her chastely for a moment before pulling away. "Come on," he says, and takes her hand, leading her out of the apartment after he grabs his briefcase.

After the door closes, the phone rings again.


	4. Green Eyes

**In Another Life**

I really hope no one hates Namine in this. I'm starting to hint at things that went wrong. It'll all make sense in the end.

* * *

They keep the lights on because there's really no reason for them to be off, and besides, Axel's eyes look so beautiful when the light hits them just right, as he's leaning in to kiss Roxas again.

They've been together for a month now, and this has become routine: Axel gets off from work and heads straight over to Roxas' house to talk, which eventually turns into fooling around, until Roxas finally says that he needs to work on his homework or Axel says that he needs to get some sleep.

They're taking it slow, partially because they don't feel the need to rush things, and partially because Axel doesn't want to feel like he's forcing himself on the kid. The farthest they've gone has mostly been groping beneath clothes, which once turned into Axel giving Roxas a hand job, but they haven't really discussed going further. Roxas is feeling adventurous today, however.

Axel's got Roxas pinned against the wall beside the bed, leaning over his seated form to suck on his neck, kissing the bruised flesh tenderly every so often. Roxas moans when the redhead's hands roam under his shirt and slowly down to the waistband of his jeans. When Axel pulls away and sits beside him to bring the blond into his lap, Roxas leans over to open the drawer of his nightstand, grabbing something from it. When he faces Axel again, he places what is unmistakably a wrapped condom in his hand. Axel stares at it in shock for a moment.

"'Mint Tingle'? Wouldn't that burn—? _Oooh_," he says in one breath, a smirk forming on his lips as realization dawns. Roxas smiles almost shyly back at him.

"I've never tried it before, but that probably does have the potential to burn," he replies, blushing slightly as he watches Axel flip the package over between his fingers. Axel smiles reassuringly at him, taking on a gentle tone to assuage whatever fears or embarrassment the blond has.

"So, you want to, or should I…?" he asks, making to get off the bed. Roxas stills him with his hands on the redhead's thighs.

"Lean back," Roxas says, his voice a little husky as he takes the condom from Axel's hand. The older male smirks again when Roxas straddles his lap, kissing him heatedly and pushing his hands up under the other's thin undershirt.

Roxas gropes at Axel's torso as he begins to rock their hips together and bites back a groan when he feels the redhead's cock hardening against him. A thrill runs through him then; he's actually going to do this. Oh God.

With a final kiss, he slides down Axel's body to kneel on the floor between his knees. His hands are shaking as he tries to unbutton Axel's pants. The redhead smiles fondly and runs his fingers over the back of Roxas' hands. "You've never done this before, have you?" he asks.

"Ah, no," Roxas smiles nervously back at him, abandoning his task for the moment, "but I've had it done to me before, so I figure I can wing it." He laughs a little for effect.

"Oh yeah," Axel says absently, "Kairi." His face grows dark for a split second and then it's soft again. "Here," he says, his thumb stroking one of Roxas' hands, "you really don't have to if you don't want to. I could—"

"No, no, I want to," Roxas replies, and returns to undoing Axel's pants with more determination. When he finishes, he pushes the waistband down his thighs, and stares for a moment at the bulge in Axel's briefs. He swallows when he feels one of Axel's hands threading through his hair in a comforting gesture, takes a deep breath, and pulls the older male's underwear down too.

Axel lets out a soft moan when his erection is exposed to the air. Roxas freezes for a second, then scrambles to grab the condom that's fallen by the wayside. He opens the packet almost frantically, struggling a bit with it out of nerves, and then holds it triumphantly. And then he realizes he has to put it on. He wants to do this. He wants to.

Realizing that there is no sexy way to do this, and that even if there was he wouldn't be capable at the moment, he rolls the condom down to the base of the redhead's cock. Axel moans encouragingly and Roxas looks up to give him a half-smile for a moment before bowing his head and easing the tip into his mouth.

It tastes like minty latex, but he supposes that it's better than a mouth full of semen, so he ignores it and continues. He starts to gag at one point, but he swallows, relaxes, and it gets easier. Before long, he's deep-throating, and he's actually maybe kind of starting to enjoy it. He's enjoying Axel's reactions, and the feeling of control. The redhead is moaning wantonly now, and Roxas is infinitely happy that his parents work late.

By the time Roxas has started getting really into it, Axel can't take much more. His hand tightens in the blond's hair and he gasps out the other's name as he comes. Roxas coughs at the feeling of Axel's cock twitching in his throat and pulls back, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Oh, shit, sorry, I'm sorry, Rox," Axel pants, leaning down to pat him on the back. Roxas swallows and coughs again, then smiles slightly at the other.

"It's okay, it just… surprised me," he smirks a little. Axel returns it and kisses him gently.

"I'm gonna clean up," he whispers against the blond's ear, and Roxas nods, watching him as he walks to the bathroom down the hall. Once Axel is out of sight, Roxas sighs and puts the condom wrapper deep in his trash can. He really doesn't need to bother hiding it, but it's the principle of the thing, he thinks as he lies back on his bed. Axel returns shortly, sliding onto the sheets beside him.

"So," Axel starts conversationally, "what did that thing taste like?" Roxas snorts.

"A little bit like toothpaste, actually," he says, smiling. Axel wraps an arm around him. "Probably better than regular ones. Kairi never really liked them, but she insisted on using them anyway." Axel sighs.

"What ever happened to her, anyway?" he asks disinterestedly.

"I told you, she moved to Twilight Town after her aunt and uncle died," Roxas replies, sounding a little sad. "I really don't see why she had to go, but I suppose it worked out for the best. She's with Sora now, and I think he loves her more than I ever could have." He smiles and rolls onto his side to face Axel. "She was a poor substitute for you."

Axel smirks. "Is that what she was?"

"Mmhmm," Roxas hums lazily, burrowing into Axel's side. Axel smiles at him.

"Well, you have the real thing now," he says contentedly.

"Yeah, I do," Roxas answers, pulling him into a slow, deep kiss.

They lie like that for a while longer, until Roxas eventually drifts to sleep thinking of what lays ahead for them and Axel grips him tightly thinking of a girl Roxas used to hold like this. There will be no more of those.


	5. Steadfast

**In Another Life**

I'd apologize for this one taking so long, but that's just like putting my foot in my mouth, because if I apologize then the next one will take ten million years to come out. Anyway.

Demyx. You need to shut up when I tell you to shut up. Sucka.

* * *

He sighs into the phone for what feels like the hundredth time. Apparently sharing the details of the worst thing to ever happen to you entails a lot of sighing. 

It had taken him five days to finally call a friend and tell them what was going on. He called Demyx, a man he knew from college and one of the few he had chosen to keep around after graduating. Others included a total bitch named Larxene and her fiancé Marluxia—who were practically attached at the hip—who knew a few other people, who knew a few more people. All in all they made up the nice little number of thirteen, and they hung out in small groups or all together on occasion. Axel and Roxas excluded themselves from the group more often than not, but Axel had kept Demyx closer than the rest, which was why he was confiding in him now.

"And now he won't even talk to me. I called him and that little whore answered the phone and said 'oh, I'm sorry, but he doesn't wanna talk to you right now.' It's bullshit. Fuck that bitch," he finishes, venom evident in his voice now, instead of the defeat laced through it when he'd relayed the break-up. Demyx let out a low whistle.

"I'm sorry, man. I had no idea all this was going on," he says concernedly.

"Neither did I," Axel says with a bitter laugh. "Like I said, I didn't even know about her until recently."

Demyx is silent for a short while, and then he asks, "Did she know?"

Axel almost growls. "Know what?"

"About you."

Axel sighs yet again and grinds out, "she said she didn't know until a few weeks ago. _Weeks_! She should've broken it off with him then!"

"Axel," Demyx tries to placate, but he knows this is going to hurt, "maybe she loves him."

The next exhalation is more defeated than the rest. "She… she told me she does." He swallows hard past the lump in his throat. "How could she do this to us? We were so happy!"

"Obviously not," Demyx interjects, "if Roxas felt the need to go to someone else."

"What?" Axel says with a hint of anger.

"Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but… you guys didn't have the greatest relationship. I mean, you're a really jealous guy," Demyx says nervously.

"Apparently for good reason. He was cheating on me for fucking _months_," Axel bites out. Demyx winces.

"Maybe he was cheating on you _because_ you were so paranoid—"

"Don't you _dare_ try to tell me that_ I_ fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me! I love him, Demyx; why would I drive him away?"

"I don't know," Demyx says, trying to calm the fiery redhead down, "but I'm sure you didn't mean to." He hears Axel slump down on the other end, thinking and starting to wallow in self-pity again.

"I want him back, Dem. I want him back so bad that it _hurts_. How am I supposed to go on without him?"

"Come out with us," Demyx says comfortingly. "Get out of your apartment. See the gang. It'll be fine. Or, you could just come out with me and Xig, yeah? How would that be?"

Axel laughs quietly. "I don't think it'd be good to go out with the both of you, you know?"

Demyx and Xigbar had been together for seven years. Xigbar had been Demyx's physics professor, and Demyx had needed a lot of help in that class. One thing led to another, and soon, to no one's surprise, they had announced that they were together. Once Demyx had graduated, of course.

"Yeah. So, just you and me, then?" Demyx asks, trying to sound cheerful for him.

"Yeah," Axel replies, "yeah, maybe in a few days."

"Axel."

"Just give me a few days, ok? I'll tell you when I'm ready."

Demyx let out a resigned sigh. "Fine, but if it takes you longer than two, I'm coming over there." Axel laughs again.

"Deal." A comfortable silence stretches between them for a few moments, and then Axel speaks again. "Thanks, Dem. For… for being there."

Demyx's smile is almost audible. "You're welcome. You've got people who care about you, you know? We don't want to see you hurt. Or think that no one's there to help when you are."

"I know. Just… thanks."

"Of course."

There's another long pause that Demyx breaks this time. "I should go, but please, call me if you need anything, ok?"

"I will. Bye, Dem."

"Bye Axel. Good luck," Demyx responds, and then there's the click of the phone hanging up.

Axel hits the 'end' button on his own phone and lays back. 'Good luck.' Yeah, he's going to need it after what he'd just done.


	6. Blue Eyes

**In Another Life**

New chapter. Hooray!

* * *

It's Saturday night, and nothing is on TV, and they're both kind of tired, but it's nice to just sit there together. Roxas likes moments like these; so calm and misleading.

Roxas just started his first year of college at the University of Twilight Town. To him, it was a big new city, far from his home on Destiny Islands, so when Axel suggested that they live together, Roxas leapt at the chance. It was easy for the redhead to find work in such a bustling town (there were always 'Help Wanted' ads), so when fall came, they both picked up stakes and headed north.

They've been together for just over a year by this point. It took Roxas a while to settle in, which wasn't helped by his slight shyness and often stoic demeanor, but he's making friends now, and he's having fun with Axel when he isn't with them (they've gone all the way by now), and he's finally starting to enjoy the college life.

As he sits on the couch with Axel's warm body pressed against him, he thinks that he's glad to have someone that cares about him so much to be there with him. Just after Axel slides a hand a little lower than "cuddling position", Roxas' cell phone rings. Giving a sheepish smile, Roxas gets up to answer it.

"Hello? Oh, Hayner! Hey!" Roxas smiles at the familiar voice. It's one of his new friends. "A party? Yeah, that would be awesome. I'll be there in, like, fifteen minutes. Ok, bye!"

Roxas hangs up and turns back to Axel, completely oblivious to the frown on his lover's face. "I'm going to Hayner's. He lives in Sunset Place, so I won't be far. I'll see you later, ok?" He's grinning as he starts to pocket his phone and head for the door.

"No."

"What?" Roxas freezes, turning back around with a puzzled expression on his face.

"I said 'no'," Axel answers, and Roxas wonders how he managed to get from the couch to the door so quickly. "You can't go."

Roxas furrows his brow and sets his phone down on the counter. "Why not?" There's the slightest hint of anger in his tone.

"That Hayner kid. I've seen how he looks at you," Axel says, referring to the few times he'd been out with Roxas and his small group of friends.

"What are you talking about?" Roxas asks. He's starting to wonder if this is a joke.

Axel scoffs. "He looks like he wants to fuck you," he says simply. Roxas laughs.

"Yeah, sure," he says, "Hayner wants to fuck me. Whatever you say," he seems bemused as he reaches for the door handle. Axel grabs his wrist.

"I'm serious." Fear flashes in Roxas' eyes for the briefest of seconds.

"What? Axel, come on, it's not funny—"

"It's not supposed to be. He probably invited you to that party so he could get you drunk and take advantage of you—"

"What are you talking about? Hayner isn't even gay! He's with Olette—"

"She's just a beard—"

"Oh come off it! I don't know what's gotten into you but maybe you need to cool off. I'm _going_, Axel, so I'll see you la—"

_WHACK._

Silence.

"What the _fuck_," Roxas says slowly, raising a hand to his cheek.

"Oh, shit, Roxas, oh sh—"

"What the _fuck_, Axel!" Roxas cries as it sets in that Axel had just backhanded him across the face.

"Roxas, oh God, I'm _so sorry_, I didn't mean—"

"You hit me!" he roars, his eyes wide and anger plastered over his features. "You fucking _hit me_!"

"Shit, I didn't mean to, I swear to God, Roxas," Axel manages as he reaches for Roxas' injured cheek. Roxas swats his hands away.

"Don't you touch me! Don't you fucking _touch_ me!" An angry red mark is appearing on his face and the corners of his eyes are damp. "How could you? Over—over _what_? An imaginary threat?"

Roxas is glaring spitfire and Axel's recoiling from him, looking at him with wide, indignant eyes. "I'm sorry, Roxas. I swear I didn't mean to, and I swear, I _swear to God_ I'll never do it again. I just—I love you so much, Rox, you _know_ that; just the _thought_ of you with some one else, it… it just hurt me so bad, that I… I lost control." Roxas scoffs, still glaring at him.

"You think I'm gonna buy that load of bull? If you _loved_ me you wouldn't have _hit_ me—"

"Oh, I see," Axel says, sounding hurt and mad at the same time, "so I guess I don't love you enough to stick with you for five years; guess I don't love you enough to help you move out on your own or help you socially, academically and financially; I don't love you enough to let you _fuck _me. Who else would do all that for you, Roxas? Who else?"

"Axel—" His resolve is crumbling. If he left Axel, he'd be all alone out here….

"I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you, baby, don't you _ever_ think otherwise. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I don't know what else to say except that I won't do it again, ok? I'm _sorry_."

Roxas blinks a few times, in a daze, then frowns. "No, I… _I'm_ sorry. I shouldn't have questioned that. I know you love me. I… I love you, too," he offers weakly. Axel smiles at him and pulls him into a hug.

"It's ok," Axel whispers to him, kissing his ear. Roxas nods, limp in the embrace. After a moment, Axel pulls away. "Everything's ok, sweetheart. We can just stay home tonight; just be together, ok? Now, go tell your friend that you can't make it." Roxas nods again dumbly, then walks back to his phone and calls Hayner.

"Hey. I'm sorry, I can't make it. No, something came up. Yeah. No. Sorry. I'll see you on Monday, ok? Bye."

When Roxas hangs up, Axel's waiting for him on the couch with open arms and a welcoming smile, which Roxas willingly accepts.

They lie together for over an hour in silence and eventually transfer to the bed. In the morning, Roxas wakes to his dick in Axel's mouth. He sighs, which turns into soft moans as the redhead continues his task. Roxas knows that this is his way of fixing things, and it always works. Axel always knows how to calm him down and make him happy. Axel always knows how to rein him in.

* * *

Who saw that coming? No more tip-toeing now. 


	7. White FlowersPhone Wars Pt 2

**In Another Life**

****Sorry for all the Namine backstory, but it didn't need its own flashback chapter, so, here it is.

* * *

From the moment they step through the door, she feels like something bad is going to happen. She can't quite explain it, and she doesn't want to think that it's something that will interfere with them—with this precious happiness that she's waited so long for, as marred as it might be right now—so she doesn't mention it to him when he heads to his bedroom to change.

She hasn't been happy for a long time. Her fall began with the sudden and unexpected death of her parents during her junior year of high school. She's twenty-two now, and she's finally remembering what it was like to be content. It hurts, but it's a good hurt; she's healing at last.

At seventeen, her life was turned upside-down. At first, she was alone in the small apartment she had lived in with her parents, and the sadness of seeing their things at every turn was so crushing that she had a bit of a breakdown. The only family she had left was her aunt and uncle and cousin who, thankfully, moved to be with her. She had been through enough that they felt it would make it worse to move her to a new town and transfer schools for her senior year. Her cousin was more resilient so the move wasn't too much of a problem for her.

They all tried to be happy for her to keep her from falling further, and she tried to be happy for them to keep them from worrying, and for a while, it worked. She and her cousin, Kairi, became as close as sisters during their final year of high school and Naminé finally thought things were better. Then Kairi got accepted to Traverse Town University.

When Kairi had moved to Twilight Town, her ex-boyfriend's older brother, Sora—who was attending the town's community college—had come round often to help Kairi feel more at home in the new town. When Kairi got accepted to university, Sora applied with her and got accepted as well. Before they left for school, they started dating.

Naminé, on the other hand, had never been the best student, and the death of her parents had made her grades drop even more. She ended up taking Sora's place at Twilight Town Community College.

Her aunt and Uncle had urged her to go to a college in Traverse Town, but she declined, saying it would be cheaper if she stayed home, and besides, she'd spent her whole life there; why leave now? Despite the distance, though, she and Kairi remained close.

They spoke on the phone for hours on end about their lives, and classes, and new friends. Everything seemed fine, but soon Kairi was spending less and less time talking to Naminé and more and more time with Sora. Naminé started to get lonely, so she decided to find a boyfriend for herself.

To help her aunt and uncle out, and to earn herself some pocket money, she started work at a florist's as a salesclerk. It was there that she met the owner's son, an elegant—and much older—man named Marluxia. He took care of business dealings and often helped to take care of and arrange displays, so he was in the shop much of the time. He took to Naminé quickly, as she was always polite and helpful when he asked something of her. They became fast friends and Naminé, not forgetting her quest, began to timidly flirt with him.

It worked, and before long he asked her out to coffee, and then to lunch, and then to dinner. His schedule was rather hectic, though, so they didn't see each other too often outside of work. When they were able to, though, things became rather passionate. Naminé found herself bragging to Kairi about how good a kisser her Marly was, and that he certainly knew how to please a woman. She was so high on her little cloud that nothing seemed wrong even though she knew that something must be; that was just how it worked for her. She knew a descent was coming, but she ignored it for as long as she could, until a woman came to visit.

She returned to her home from class on a Tuesday afternoon to find her aunt rather shaken on the living room couch. "A woman came to see you," she said, not moving. "She told me to tell you to… to stay the 'f' away from her boyfriend. She had a knife," the older woman finished, looking finally at her niece. "Naminé, what's going on?"

"I-I don't know," was all she could manage before running upstairs to change into her uniform for work.

When she arrived at the florist's shop, Marluxia was there, arguing with a blonde woman who turned sharp green eyes on her the moment the little bell on the door rang.

"Is this the bitch?" she asked, her voice as steely as the yellow-hilted knife she seemed to be using as an extension of her arm. Marluxia growled.

"Leave her out of this, Larxene; it isn't about her!"

"My ass it isn't! You've been sleeping with her! Taking her out on little romantic… things! If you've fallen in love with her I swear to God I'll—"

"I'm not in love with her! I'm in love with _you_!" Marluxia screamed, and Naminé could feel her heart stop. "I just needed someone else! You're so obsessed with your damn knives and your Marquis de Sade that you never pay any attention to me anymore! She was there; she let me release my fucking… sexual frustrations and that's all!"

Larxene seemed to calm down a considerable amount. "So you were just using her, then?" she asked casually, crossing her arms and smirking cruelly at the younger blonde.

"Of course," Marluxia answered. Larxene turned to him then and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"C'mere," she whispered before pulling him into a kiss. Marluxia hesitated a moment but returned it eagerly.

Naminé threw her apron on the ground and ran out of the shop in tears. No one had come to comfort her.

That was so long ago, she thinks, as she enters the kitchen of Roxas' small apartment. She hadn't had a boyfriend since, and even with Roxas she had been hesitant. For good reason, she thought, when she had found out about Axel, but this relationship had taken a different turn that the one with Marluxia. Roxas had left his lover for her, because Roxas loved her and not Axel. Not anymore, anyway. Roxas had ended it, and everything was going to be okay now, for both of them. This thought made her smile a little when she glanced at his phone to see a blinking red 1 on the answering machine. Figuring it wouldn't hurt, she picked up the receiver to listen to the message.

As she had suspected, the voice on the other end belonged to Axel. As she had not suspected, however, he sounded sort of smug. "Hey, baby. Thanks for 'stopping by' last night," he laughs a little, "I had a real good time. Why don't you come again tonight? Use the 'working late' excuse again." He laughs a little louder. "That stupid bitch has no idea what we're doing behind her back, huh? I'll see you. Love you. Bye."

Naminé is still holding the receiver to her ear when Roxas rushes out of his room, a pile of papers in his hands. "I forgot about some stuff for work. I'm gonna have to go back in. I'm sorry Nammy. I'll take the tram so you don't have to drive me back, ok?" He leans over to kiss her and then realizes she's crying. "Naminé?" he asks. Furrowing his brow, "what's wrong?"

She's lowered the phone to her side, and she looks composed even though tears are sliding down her face. "You're not going in to work, are you?"

Roxas only looks more confused. "What? Where else would I be going?"

"You're going to see _him_," she asserts, "Axel."

"Why would I go to see Axel? I don't even want to _talk_ to him—"

"Then why did he leave this?" She asks, holding the phone out to him. "A message for you."

Roxas takes the phone and presses a button, holding it up to his ear. His expression changes from confused to outraged as the message wears on, and when it finishes he slams the receiver down on the counter. "That crazy bastard!" he growls, "He knows that I don't check messages. I can't believe him! I knew he was nuts but I didn't think he'd—urgh!" He rakes his hands through his hair, scowling at the wall before turning back to Naminé.

"Remember what I said about Axel saying hurtful things? He likes to play mind games, too. I didn't think he'd involve _you_ in them, though. I can't let him do this. We're going to see him, ok? Get this all straightened out; get him to realize that it's _over_, and I'm not going back to him. God, he just—I'm sorry, Naminé. I am so sorry for all this."

"It's… it's okay," she says softly, her head bowed in embarrassment. Roxas sighs and hugs her.

"Everything'll work out," he says gently, rubbing her back. "We'll be fine. I love you, Nam. Don't forget that." She nods against him and lets him go back to the office. When he leaves, there's determination in his eyes. He won't let her be hurt like he was.


	8. Neither Here nor There

**In Another Life**

This one took a while. Whoops.

* * *

Through the crowd of people and the glass doors of the building, he can see her, walking into the rain in her white suit, and in that moment, all he can think of is how beautiful she is, and that she shouldn't have to be alone.

Roxas has recently graduated college, standing now at twenty-two years of age. He earned his degree a semester early, his graduation held in the winter. He found a decent job quickly. Axel couldn't be prouder. Roxas finds oddly that he doesn't really care.

Roxas thinks that Axel may have sucked the ability to care right out of him, replacing it first with fear and then with nothing. He feels like a drone, almost, but he supposes that's better than it could be. The abuse hasn't stopped. The physical encounters are rare—Roxas has learned what will set Axel off to the point of hitting and does his best to avoid it, though not always successfully—but the emotional abuse and manipulations are far more common. Axel manages to make him feel like he's done the world a disservice with his mere existence, and moments later like he's the most precious thing in the world. It doesn't scare him like it used to, and somewhere deep down he knows that this is the most frightening fact of all.

Work is an escape for him. He buries himself in it to avoid Axel and the way his lover makes him feel when something's gone wrong. He is exceedingly good at his job, and spends a lot of time at the office. It's there that he sees her: a girl—no, a woman; those eyes could only belong to a woman—around his age with pale blonde hair and fairer skin. She reminds him almost painfully of Kairi, and of that time in his life when he was free and in control of things besides when his next report would be turned in, like who he could speak to and what he could wear. And she looks so painfully alone.

It's one rainy spring afternoon that Roxas finally gathers the nerve to approach her. He leaves the building with the scores of other workers like he does everyday, seeking her out easily to watch, just to watch her, as she leaves. When she steps through the doors in her clean white clothes, he realizes she doesn't have an umbrella. He rushes to her rescue.

Noticing a shadow looming over her, she starts, looking back at Roxas with wide, almost frightened eyes. "You uh, you shouldn't be wearing white in the rain without an umbrella," Roxas says lamely. She immediately draws her hands to her chest. "Oh! No, that's not what I meant!" he amends quickly, "nothing's showing, just uh…" he curses quietly to himself, then smiles non-threateningly at her, "I'm Roxas. We work in the same building," he finishes, holding out a hand to her. After a moment's hesitation, she takes it gingerly.

"I'm Naminé," she says quietly, meeting his eyes. Roxas lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"You're the boss's secretary, right?" he asks conversationally, gauging her reactions; a technique that he has learned in his time with Axel.

"Yes," she replies, nodding, "Ansem." She says the name with the barest hint of distaste. Roxas leaps on the opportunity.

"You like him?" he asks, smiling when she shakes her head. "Yeah, he's pretty heartless when it comes to his subordinates, isn't he?" he laughs, and for the first time since he's seen her, she affords him a smile. He grins gently at her, scratching almost nervously at the back of his head. He could end this now. He could give her his umbrella and go. "You look kind of cold," he says instead, "wanna grab some coffee before you go?"

She hesitates again, and half of him wants her to say no so he can go home and forget about her now that they've talked, and the other half wants so desperately—"That would be nice," she says softly, her pale pink lips curving upwards at the ends.

They stay at the coffee shop for the better part of an hour and find that they have a lot in common and that they get on incredibly well. All the while Roxas thinks of how fragile she is, and how delicate, and how he wants to protect her from whatever secret it is that hides in her eyes.

They make plans for lunch on Friday.

Roxas walks her all the way back to her car, talking to her still as she sits in the driver's seat, finally letting her go with a warm smile and a wave. He walks silently to his own vehicle, and once inside, keys in the ignition and hands on the wheel, he starts to cry.

He wants to believe that he's only pursuing a friendship with Naminé; wants to believe that everything is fine between him and Axel, but he knows that neither is true. He's stable now. He can leave whenever he wants to. But there's a voice that's telling him he still loves Axel, despite the cruel words and harsh treatment, and still there's a darker voice telling him that he loves Axel because of it.

"I love him," he says aloud, to himself. "I love him because he loves me and takes care of me, not because I'm afraid of him." He hopes that repeating the words to himself will make them true. He wishes it were that easy.

When he opens the door of their apartment, Axel is a few feet away putting his jacket on. When he sees Roxas, he relaxes noticeably, rushing up to him and pulling him inside.

"Are you okay? Why are you so late? Why didn't you call? Why didn't you answer your phone?" Axel says in one breath, his hands firm on the smaller male's shoulders. Roxas stays solid to Axel's franticness, answering him levelly.

"The rain held me up, there was a bit of a jam. And my phone died. Sorry about that," he lies smoothly, knowing full well that he turned his phone off while he was with Naminé to avoid interruptions. He should've called anyway. He should feel bad about making Axel worry, but somehow it feels good to fuck with the redhead, and somehow he doesn't care at all. This is all so _wrong_.

"You should've found a payphone or something; I was worried _sick_—are you okay, Rox? You look upset," Axel asks, his voice going from angered to worried in that frightening flash-pan way that it does sometimes, but it's not dangerous right now. Roxas just closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"I'm fine. I just… just had a rough day, that's all," he sighs, running a hand through his damp hair. Axel frowns at him.

"You're all wet. You'll catch cold," he says distractedly, pulling on the lapels of Roxas' jacket. Roxas seizes the opportunity—_I love him because he loves me_—and kisses him firmly on the mouth, nudging at his partner's lips with his tongue until they're tangled up together.

"Axel," Roxas breathes against him, "I want…" he trails off, but the redhead knows exactly what he means.

"Are you sure?" Roxas rarely initiates sex anymore. He doesn't quite know why, because when he does, Axel treats him like the most precious person in the world, whispering sweet words to him and drawing out their pleasure, touching him like something worthy of endless adoration. When Axel starts it, it's usually rough, and quick, and dirty. Axel almost forces himself on Roxas, and sometimes Roxas thinks that, under different circumstances, if it were a different person, it could be called rape, but since it's Axel, and since they've been together so long, it's just unwanted sex. And now he thinks that's just another lie to add to the growing collection between them.

"Yeah," Roxas answers, grabbing his lover's wrist and tugging him toward their bedroom.

Roxas lies on his back, letting the other crawl on top of him, straddling his waist. Axel undresses him silently, kissing every inch of flesh he exposes, and Roxas shudders at the contrast of the cold air and Axel's hot mouth on his wet skin, running his hands loosely through thick red hair.

Once Roxas is nude Axel undresses himself as well, dropping his clothes over the side of the bed to the floor and Roxas thinks vaguely that he'll have to put them away later. Axel doesn't notice as he nips at Roxas' ear and runs his hands over his body. Roxas whimpers when their hips collide and Axel smirks against him, grinding down into him. Roxas just grasps at his shoulders.

"Axel," Roxas says breathlessly as the older man kisses his chest, "I want you." Axel lifts his head and kisses his mouth, leaning over to the nightstand and pulling a condom and a tube of lubricant from the drawer. Setting the tube down beside them, he's just about to open the condom wrapper when Roxas extracts it delicately from his hands and puts it back on the table.

"Roxas…?" Axel asks, looking down at his younger lover's darkened eyes.

"I want to feel you," Roxas says simply, "_only_ you."

Axel lifts an eyebrow; they've never gone bareback before, but if Roxas is willing to try then damned if Axel isn't going to appease him. The older man leans down and kisses him again, and this time Roxas responds eagerly, wrapping his arms around Axel's neck and kissing him deeply. Axel grabs the lubricant again and reaches down between them to slick himself, then pushes into the hole between Roxas' spread legs.

It feels weird. Maybe better than it does with a condom, but he's not really sure yet. They'll have to try it again. It's different, at the very least, and enjoyable, certainly. But he's not sure if he's getting what he wants. He doesn't feel any closer to Axel than he usually does during sex. This doesn't feel life-altering, and it's not doing much to cement his feelings. Maybe it was stupid to think sex would do that; no, he's certain it was stupid to think sex would do anything other than make him feel physically good for a little while. Maybe they'll talk afterward and that will change things somehow. Maybe Axel will say—

"I love you," Axel pants, thrusting in and out of the smaller body at a quick pace, "It feels so good, sweetheart. I _love_ you," he says again, nuzzling the crook of the blond's neck.

"Yeah," Roxas responds, trying to sound more into it than he really is, "feels good. I…" he hesitates; covers it with a moan, "I love you too."

Axel comes quickly, spilling himself deep inside Roxas, and then jerking the younger man off until he comes too, over Axel's hand and both their stomachs. Axel settles against him for a moment, then pulls out carefully, eliciting small groans from both of them. He gets up and goes to the bathroom, returning shortly with a wet washcloth, wiping up the semen on Roxas' stomach and then the mixture of lube and cum between his legs.

He sets the cloth down on the nightstand, then pulls the covers over Roxas and slides under them beside him. Draping an arm over the lithe body, Axel kisses Roxas' neck and whispers in his ear, "love you."

"Love you too," Roxas responds, without hesitation this time. He waits for Axel to say something, _anything_, else, but he doesn't, opting instead to snuggle silently into his side. Roxas realizes then that his silence hurts more than his words. He falls into an uneasy sleep, curling into the man and hoping deep down that this is just a phase and they'll come out of it okay, and that someday he'll have the courage to stop lying to himself.


End file.
